Confronting the darkness that comes into the Church through her members, is so necessary.
The term "intrinsically evil" comes to mind.
I deeply appreciate your honesty.
Please do not take this as a minimizing of your experience, but as an affirmation of solidarity -- when Sr. Theresa Aletheia said, "That wasn't innocence," I realized that I have heard that feeling, when I myself have been tempted to deliberate sin.
And yes, "the survivor is never at fault." It is a deep moral fault line within the sinner. "I was vulnerable because I was in a vulnerable situation."
Thank you for explaining about how a community is groomed.
The ending song is deeply moving. "There is cancer in my bones..."
I appreciated the presenters' going into detail about their experiences. In so many presentations about abuse in religious contexts, I find myself frustrated by writers' or speakers' use of descriptive buzzwords rather than narrative details about what actually happened.
Dr. Rubio's research is extremely edifying. As a deeply discouraged volunteer in my parish, it was a relief to see an academic analysis showing that what I see and experience is real, not my imagination.
What a tremendous work you sisters have done in this excellent first episode!! Such gratitude to you, sisters, for the vulnerability, courage, and love poured out in sharing and covering this painful topic. What strikes me at this moment, as a former sister, are the descriptions of the vulnerability of one entering into religious life, in the formation stage, totally open and totally dependent on others and how radical the imbalance of power is in these situations. My heart breaks for the many men and women who desired to consecrate their lives to Christ and found in the midst of their journey of discipleship in religious life the horrible reality of predatory behavior from superiors, founders, and fellow sisters or brothers, just as it breaks for those in the world who experienced the same from their pastors or spiritual directors. Abuse in religious life needs to be addressed. Thank you for shedding light on this. It was so eerie to hear the description of grooming as it was so familiar from the stories of abuse in my own former community. I pray that as a spiritual director, I can provide a safe and listening ear for others who need to unpack experiences like these and grow in freedom, healing, and empowerment to allow the light to overcome the darkness.
Thank you. I left the convent ten years ago and only in the last few years have been able to realize and label my experience as emotional and spiritual abuse. This first episode has been so helpful in making more sense of my experience and bringing to light aspects I hadn’t considered. I’ll be sharing this podcast with all of my friends (sadly, a large number) who also experienced abuse in religious life and with my friends who are now formators in their dioceses or religious communities. Thank you again for your work - your community gives me hope and validates my own experience.
Elizabeth, thank you so much for listening and for sharing your own experience with us. We are so sorry for all you have suffered and we are grateful that you have been able to find the language to identify those harmful experiences. We are honored that our own stories and journey has helped you make more sense of your experience. You and your friends' wisdom is invaluable to the Church. Thank you for your courage and sharing your hope, which is also very encouraging for us.
The sexually charged language your abuser used...I've heard a lot of language similar to that, not just in abusive situations, but in certain conversations about human sexuality and how it intersects with faith in Catholic pop theology circles.
That makes me pretty nervous. I'm not saying all those who use it are abusive, but I think an awful lot of abusive people can, and do, use it for cover because it's so popular.
I was 47 when it happened to me. He was our pastor and groomed our family for about a year before the improprieties and boundary violations started. Reporting him was a sham. The whole experience changed me forever. I’m still Catholic, but I don’t trust or esteem the Church any longer. I don’t think I ever will again.
Great podcast. Whoever hears you will hear me too.
I'm sorry you experienced that and that in reporting it you were not helped or experienced justice. Thank you for having the courage to tell us this happened to you. May you be listened to and understood and cared for in your pain.
As a survivor of clergy abuse who met my abuser in the convent, I can relate to this a million percent. Well done. I hope this podcast spreads far and wide.
Confronting the darkness that comes into the Church through her members, is so necessary.
The term "intrinsically evil" comes to mind.
I deeply appreciate your honesty.
Please do not take this as a minimizing of your experience, but as an affirmation of solidarity -- when Sr. Theresa Aletheia said, "That wasn't innocence," I realized that I have heard that feeling, when I myself have been tempted to deliberate sin.
And yes, "the survivor is never at fault." It is a deep moral fault line within the sinner. "I was vulnerable because I was in a vulnerable situation."
Thank you for explaining about how a community is groomed.
The ending song is deeply moving. "There is cancer in my bones..."
Thank you.
Thank you so much for doing what you are doing. I don't have words to express how thankful I am.
Thank you for listening Ashley.
I appreciated the presenters' going into detail about their experiences. In so many presentations about abuse in religious contexts, I find myself frustrated by writers' or speakers' use of descriptive buzzwords rather than narrative details about what actually happened.
Dr. Rubio's research is extremely edifying. As a deeply discouraged volunteer in my parish, it was a relief to see an academic analysis showing that what I see and experience is real, not my imagination.
https://www.scu.edu/media/ignatian-center/bannan/Beyond-Bad-Apples-8-2-FINAL.pdf
Cynthia, we are so glad you appreciated the episode and Dr. Rubio's interview.
What a tremendous work you sisters have done in this excellent first episode!! Such gratitude to you, sisters, for the vulnerability, courage, and love poured out in sharing and covering this painful topic. What strikes me at this moment, as a former sister, are the descriptions of the vulnerability of one entering into religious life, in the formation stage, totally open and totally dependent on others and how radical the imbalance of power is in these situations. My heart breaks for the many men and women who desired to consecrate their lives to Christ and found in the midst of their journey of discipleship in religious life the horrible reality of predatory behavior from superiors, founders, and fellow sisters or brothers, just as it breaks for those in the world who experienced the same from their pastors or spiritual directors. Abuse in religious life needs to be addressed. Thank you for shedding light on this. It was so eerie to hear the description of grooming as it was so familiar from the stories of abuse in my own former community. I pray that as a spiritual director, I can provide a safe and listening ear for others who need to unpack experiences like these and grow in freedom, healing, and empowerment to allow the light to overcome the darkness.
Thank you. I left the convent ten years ago and only in the last few years have been able to realize and label my experience as emotional and spiritual abuse. This first episode has been so helpful in making more sense of my experience and bringing to light aspects I hadn’t considered. I’ll be sharing this podcast with all of my friends (sadly, a large number) who also experienced abuse in religious life and with my friends who are now formators in their dioceses or religious communities. Thank you again for your work - your community gives me hope and validates my own experience.
Elizabeth, thank you so much for listening and for sharing your own experience with us. We are so sorry for all you have suffered and we are grateful that you have been able to find the language to identify those harmful experiences. We are honored that our own stories and journey has helped you make more sense of your experience. You and your friends' wisdom is invaluable to the Church. Thank you for your courage and sharing your hope, which is also very encouraging for us.
SO much resonates here. Holy cow.
The sexually charged language your abuser used...I've heard a lot of language similar to that, not just in abusive situations, but in certain conversations about human sexuality and how it intersects with faith in Catholic pop theology circles.
That makes me pretty nervous. I'm not saying all those who use it are abusive, but I think an awful lot of abusive people can, and do, use it for cover because it's so popular.
I was 47 when it happened to me. He was our pastor and groomed our family for about a year before the improprieties and boundary violations started. Reporting him was a sham. The whole experience changed me forever. I’m still Catholic, but I don’t trust or esteem the Church any longer. I don’t think I ever will again.
Great podcast. Whoever hears you will hear me too.
I'm sorry you experienced that and that in reporting it you were not helped or experienced justice. Thank you for having the courage to tell us this happened to you. May you be listened to and understood and cared for in your pain.
We are *so* sorry for what you experienced.
"Whoever hears you will hear me too." -- This is what we hoped for. It is an honor to give voice to your experience.
As a survivor of clergy abuse who met my abuser in the convent, I can relate to this a million percent. Well done. I hope this podcast spreads far and wide.
Thank you Gina. You are always in our prayers.
Thank you so much, Gina. We appreciate you so much.
Thank you so much, Caroline.