Our Recent Pillar Article: A Follow-Up
From Sr. Danielle Victoria and Sr. Theresa Aletheia
Over the past weeks, we have been humbled by the countless messages we have received from people across the globe. After publicly sharing our experiences with a predatory spiritual director, we were deeply grateful for the supportive and encouraging messages that followed. We received negative feedback as well, as might be expected, but we were grateful that most people we heard from simply expressed deep gratitude for the risk we took and for the people our stories would help.
Our strong belief that the Holy Spirit inspired us to share our stories has only grown as we have heard from people who have not only been inspired but felt supported and seen in their own experiences. In these past weeks, we have heard from people who have experienced abuse in parish settings, in lay movements, in seminaries, and in religious orders. One Benedictine nun, who gave us permission to share her thoughts, wrote:
Thank you so much for your courage. Your story has raised many issues for me. There are so many things that only women religious can understand. One of those is the level of vulnerability that you experience in formation. Nothing can prepare you for this. Unless you have lived it, you cannot understand it. I remember … clutching at any straw to help me make sense of what was happening.
Of course, sharing our stories so frankly and explicitly was not easy. When survivors tell their stories, we know that we must be ready to face the same shame and blame that cloak abuse and often keep it hidden within our culture. For this reason, it took years for us to feel ready to talk publicly about what happened. Our healing journeys have involved both prayer and sharing with trusted family, friends, and professionals. Thanks to all this support, we eventually felt prepared to meet whatever would come. Now, bolstered by your encouragement, we move forward in boldness and light with a deep sense that God is with us in this mission.
Our mission is clarified by the phrase that calls us to reach out to those on the fringes of the Church—“especially those who have been wounded, abused, or scandalized by members of the Church.” This phrase contextualizes the reality that we are called to evangelize through the wounds in the Church caused by Her members. Preaching the Gospel by exploring the darkness of a wound might sound frightening to some but only if we forget that our sins both caused the wounds of Jesus on the Cross—and “by his wounds we are healed” (Is 53:5).
Evangelization in this spirit of humility and reparation is not only necessary but essential in today’s world. Pope Paul VI stated that the Church “exists in order to evangelize.” We strongly believe that addressing the complex reality of abuse that undermines trust in Church authority is intrinsically linked to the Church’s missionary purpose. Proclaiming the Gospel without addressing the gaping wound of our own sins, through which many members of the Church pour out, is to deny our need for the Cross and to bypass the fullness of the Paschal mystery.
Saint Thérèse of Lisieux is our patron in this mission. Her writing understandably might be off-putting to some, especially abuse survivors. But what can seem like flowery, sentimental rhetoric in her early life is authenticated by the grit of her struggle in the face of unbelief at the end of her life. Thérèse’s journey with Christ through the depths of darkness before she died contextualizes both her life and our mission, revealing the pattern of hope in an age of unbelief.
Maybe it sounds melodramatic, but more and more I feel like your mission is the missing piece.
I never went through religious formation as a novice or sister, but my own experiences with growing up near a religious order (I have a dear childhood friend who's currently a sister with that order) and experiencing sexual and emotional abuse by a priest I considered my spiritual director has given me a small glimpse of what's asked of y'all and how absolutely
destructive an evil man entrusted with formation could be. Enough that it's crossed my mind to be terrified for my son and daughters should they experience a call to religious life. I feel like should they experience that call, there's several very frank conversations we're going to have to have.
I'm so thankful you're doing what you're doing. They say sunlight is the best disinfectant, and the light you're helping to shine on this is so desperately needed.
Thank you for speaking out about the abuse that you both experienced when in the convent. It helps others who have been abused by members of the Church to speak out too. I continue to speak out as well, and like you I have received negative feedback as well as even a threat by a priest who commented on one of my articles. I will continue to speak the truth, not for myself but for others to have the courage to speak out and to know they are not alone. Again, thank you for sharing your story. That means a lot to us who are survivors of abuse, especially abuse in the convent.