This past weekend, an article in the Pillar revealed that the Sisters of Life submitted a report to the Vatican detailing Fr. David Nicgorski’s predatory behavior during spiritual direction with their sisters:
Sources said that Nicgorski allegedly acted inappropriately with members of the Sisters of Life during spiritual direction in the 2000s, in one case seriously sexually manipulating a sister under his direction.
One reason we came forward with our own stories of abuse under the same priest’s spiritual direction was that we believed that religious sisters in other communities had suffered similarly.
We are saddened but unsurprised to find that this was true.
We know firsthand what it feels like to have such personal information held open to the public so we are fasting and praying for the Sisters of Life, especially the sisters who have been impacted. Abuse in spiritual direction can wreak havoc in a person’s life, especially in the life of a consecrated person. As religious sisters, our lives are rooted in prayer and union with Christ so when that prayer is manipulated it can strike at the heart of our relationship with God.
The Sisters of Life could have easily chosen to remain silent about what has happened in their community but instead they chose to support our testimonies with their own. This choice is meaningful to us not only because silence around any form of abuse leads to more abuse but because silence damages the Body of Christ. If we truly want healing and reform in the Church, we must be willing to face the darkness of our gaping wounds. Circumventing or bypassing the wounds of abuse damages the authoritative voice of the Church in the world and thus the effectiveness of our preaching of the Gospel. Transparency around abuse, no matter the cost, is the only way forward.
But are we all really willing to pay that cost?
Accountability and reform is not just about preventing bad actors from abusing again—it involves the entire Body of Christ. Abuse happens not just because of bad actors; it happens within contexts and cultural norms that can either make situations of abuse more or less likely. After abuse happens, protecting future victims requires a thorough and far-reaching study of the factors that allowed the abuse to happen, or to be minimized or covered up, in the first place. However, because that kind of reform demands deeper conversion and change from all of us, many organizations and groups within the Church hesitate to pay that cost.
Organizational self-protection is a constant and continuing temptation in the Church; it’s why darkness and silence often surround abuse rather than the light of Christ. But the Gospel demands much more from us than self protection. As the Sisters of Life share on their website:
We believe every person is valuable and sacred. We believe that every person is good, loved, unique and unrepeatable. We believe that every person’s life has deep meaning, purpose and worth. In fact, we give our lives for that truth.
When we address abuse thoroughly, no matter the cost, we show the world that we really believe in the Gospel principle that every person is a precious and priceless child of God.
For this reason, we are deeply encouraged that the Sisters of Life made a report to the Vatican and are proactively addressing these issues within their community. Silence is so much easier than taking a risk to address wrongs and do what is right. By taking this risk, we believe that the Sisters of Life are choosing to live their charism deeply—a sign that the Gospel is alive in their community.
We are grateful for their sisterly solidarity and courage.
Courage like this is desperately needed in the Church today.
Thank you for this. I am blessed with a spiritual director who loves his vocat I on and respects and supports my calling as well. I have had priests cross lines in my life, taking advantage of emotional distress and spiritual troubles. To find priests (and there are many) who treat women as friends and sisters in Christ and whose private and public conduct are in perfect accord is such a blessing. It brings us back to Christ. Taking advantage of that relationship is diabolical!
I came forward against my abuser because someone else did first. You've absolutely been a trailbreaker on this.