This is simply one of the finest documentaries I have ever encountered. Thank you, Sisters, for the sacrifice of your vocation. While I have not personally experienced abuse, I have had two pastors in my life who abused children in their parish, a reality that deeply rocked my faith. Listening to this was a step toward healing my wounds, which are joined to the endless, silent ripples of pain that have emanated from countless acts of darkness. May you continue to shine Christ's light in a Church that so desperately needs it.
Just to echo the many who are thanking you for your hard work in producing this series. I am so grateful I found it and it has been a source of a whole new awareness of these realities. Several times I teared up by the goodness and beauty that shoots through it all. Your experience is a powerful confirmation of Romans 8:28. Please keep up your awesome work and stay close to Little Thérèse, I know she is so pleased with how you are living her path in the Church. Know of my continued prayers for you and your mission. I offered mass this morning for your intentions.
Thank you so much for your comment Father and for listening all the way through. We are grateful. And we are deeply grateful to you for saying Mass for us.
The way you frame hope as someting grounded in God's presence rather than perfection resonates deeply. This isnt about ignoring the wounds but about tending to them with integrity, which is such an important distinction. Your work in creating space for these stories and calling for real reform, not just policy changes but actual conversion of hearts, is so neccesary. Thank you for walking through these difficult conversations and showing what it means to stay rooted in faith while demanding accountability.
Also, I guess I want to add that when church representatives use language that casts doubt onto the reports of harm that are brought to them, that is part of bigger, systemic problems with the way that everyone in the church is affected by male-centered, clerical-centered social conditioning. By and large, statistically, there is no reason to doubt a person of lesser power reporting harm by any type of superior. The person reporting has absolutely no advantage and gains nothing. They are on the losing end of a power imbalance. Period. Go ahead and prove me wrong. These are not “misunderstandings”. People who hold positions of power over others, often priests, know that they will be advantaged because of that power and are motivated to abuse by a lack of consequences and strong support for beliefs in their entitlement and privilege that comes from our conditioning (for example, priests get the benefit of social conditioning that privileges them as males/”leaders” and clerics/“God’s chosen”) . So I strongly, strongly suggest the verbage and excuses made for protecting forms of entitlement and privilege within the church be a source of reflection for conversion.
One thing I find confusing and frustrating is the lack of discussion and understanding about psychological abuse and spiritual abuse. Very often the issues discussed re: abuse revolve around sexual abuse, as if that is the only true form of abuse. I experienced something more akin to bullying and psychological manipulation in my parish. It was extremely distressing and I suffered bouts of depression, crying spells, anxiety attacks, feeling weak and sick. I had been so manipulated that I just thought I was the problem. Through counseling I gained insight into tactics that were being used by my pastor and others which involved using spirituality/spiritual authority and distortions of teaching to control, shame, victim blame, punish etc. The suffering I experienced was very intense. In this episode one of the experts talked about priests being afraid of “misunderstandings” being used to level charges of abuse at them. This upset me because that is exactly what my parish pastor claimed. He denied wrongdoing, he claimed it was “just his personality”, he insinuated I had mental problems and “needed healing”. In reality, I needed healing from what he had done. He was not owning up to tactics of psychological abuse that he used in his role as a spiritual authority in my life and not acknowledging the harms that abuse caused. He essentially blamed me even though it was his actions in his role of authority, his power, that was used against me. This kind of abuse cannot be minimized and ignored the way that it often is. It is so deeply damaging.
Thank you for the work you have done. This was an excellent podcast and this final episode was really eye-opening when it comes to the lack of protection for vulnerable adults in the context of the power differential of spiritual settings and pastoral care. You have invited me to return to aspects of my story as well as reflect on how to consider "safeguarding" from a much broader perspective. This is going to continue to influence my ministry of spiritual direction as I deepen the reflection on the importance of personal freedom and dignity.
Marian, thank you for listening all the way through. We have appreciated your comments and will continue to keep you in prayer. We are so sorry for what you’ve experienced. If you’d like a copy of the prayer at the end of the podcast, it’s on our holy hour download on the Prayer tab of our website. God bless you.
Paul and Marian, we’d appreciate it if you brought your conversation off line at this point. We’re unable to keep up with monitoring long conversations in our comments. Thank you.
This is simply one of the finest documentaries I have ever encountered. Thank you, Sisters, for the sacrifice of your vocation. While I have not personally experienced abuse, I have had two pastors in my life who abused children in their parish, a reality that deeply rocked my faith. Listening to this was a step toward healing my wounds, which are joined to the endless, silent ripples of pain that have emanated from countless acts of darkness. May you continue to shine Christ's light in a Church that so desperately needs it.
Thank you so much for listening Christa. We’re so glad it was helpful to you.
Just to echo the many who are thanking you for your hard work in producing this series. I am so grateful I found it and it has been a source of a whole new awareness of these realities. Several times I teared up by the goodness and beauty that shoots through it all. Your experience is a powerful confirmation of Romans 8:28. Please keep up your awesome work and stay close to Little Thérèse, I know she is so pleased with how you are living her path in the Church. Know of my continued prayers for you and your mission. I offered mass this morning for your intentions.
Thank you so much for your comment Father and for listening all the way through. We are grateful. And we are deeply grateful to you for saying Mass for us.
The way you frame hope as someting grounded in God's presence rather than perfection resonates deeply. This isnt about ignoring the wounds but about tending to them with integrity, which is such an important distinction. Your work in creating space for these stories and calling for real reform, not just policy changes but actual conversion of hearts, is so neccesary. Thank you for walking through these difficult conversations and showing what it means to stay rooted in faith while demanding accountability.
The ending. Can you place on document to share?
Gina, the ending prayer is on our holy hour download, which you can find on the prayer tab of our website.
Also, I guess I want to add that when church representatives use language that casts doubt onto the reports of harm that are brought to them, that is part of bigger, systemic problems with the way that everyone in the church is affected by male-centered, clerical-centered social conditioning. By and large, statistically, there is no reason to doubt a person of lesser power reporting harm by any type of superior. The person reporting has absolutely no advantage and gains nothing. They are on the losing end of a power imbalance. Period. Go ahead and prove me wrong. These are not “misunderstandings”. People who hold positions of power over others, often priests, know that they will be advantaged because of that power and are motivated to abuse by a lack of consequences and strong support for beliefs in their entitlement and privilege that comes from our conditioning (for example, priests get the benefit of social conditioning that privileges them as males/”leaders” and clerics/“God’s chosen”) . So I strongly, strongly suggest the verbage and excuses made for protecting forms of entitlement and privilege within the church be a source of reflection for conversion.
One thing I find confusing and frustrating is the lack of discussion and understanding about psychological abuse and spiritual abuse. Very often the issues discussed re: abuse revolve around sexual abuse, as if that is the only true form of abuse. I experienced something more akin to bullying and psychological manipulation in my parish. It was extremely distressing and I suffered bouts of depression, crying spells, anxiety attacks, feeling weak and sick. I had been so manipulated that I just thought I was the problem. Through counseling I gained insight into tactics that were being used by my pastor and others which involved using spirituality/spiritual authority and distortions of teaching to control, shame, victim blame, punish etc. The suffering I experienced was very intense. In this episode one of the experts talked about priests being afraid of “misunderstandings” being used to level charges of abuse at them. This upset me because that is exactly what my parish pastor claimed. He denied wrongdoing, he claimed it was “just his personality”, he insinuated I had mental problems and “needed healing”. In reality, I needed healing from what he had done. He was not owning up to tactics of psychological abuse that he used in his role as a spiritual authority in my life and not acknowledging the harms that abuse caused. He essentially blamed me even though it was his actions in his role of authority, his power, that was used against me. This kind of abuse cannot be minimized and ignored the way that it often is. It is so deeply damaging.
Thank you !
Thank you for the work you have done. This was an excellent podcast and this final episode was really eye-opening when it comes to the lack of protection for vulnerable adults in the context of the power differential of spiritual settings and pastoral care. You have invited me to return to aspects of my story as well as reflect on how to consider "safeguarding" from a much broader perspective. This is going to continue to influence my ministry of spiritual direction as I deepen the reflection on the importance of personal freedom and dignity.
Marian, thank you for listening all the way through. We have appreciated your comments and will continue to keep you in prayer. We are so sorry for what you’ve experienced. If you’d like a copy of the prayer at the end of the podcast, it’s on our holy hour download on the Prayer tab of our website. God bless you.
Paul and Marian, we’d appreciate it if you brought your conversation off line at this point. We’re unable to keep up with monitoring long conversations in our comments. Thank you.